Let’s see, what to say… I have some things I’d like to talk about but as long as I’m still with my current employer, I can’t. Maybe when the semester’s over and I’m no longer teaching and working as a graduate assistant I’ll feel more free to discuss some of the issues I’m dying to get out. For now, the only things really going on are thesis and my trip to California. I can imagine y’all are going to feel so relieved when I finish my thesis and am not talking about it all the time, huh? Yeah, it’s pretty much my whole life right now, but I should be done soon.
Of course, that’s an assumption because I’m completely out of steam. I’m running on less than empty, but I still have a chapter to finish. I still have to finish chapter five, which isn’t coming along well because I’m at a loss as to what I should be saying that hasn’t already been said. I’m paralyzed by my inability to get this chapter done, and what’s making it worse is that I really needed to get it done before I leave for California… tomorrow.
There’s just no way, which is making me panic. I’m not sure what the extreme deadline is to be able to get this thing done to graduate in August, but I really want to be done with it. I’m thinking the extreme deadline is June 1st, because that’s Melanie’s deadline, but my chapter five deadline is May 11 (or May 9, since I’m going to be on a train for almost two days). I just want to be able to go to CA and enjoy my time there knowing I’m done. But, sadly, with everything else going on, I didn’t/haven’t gotten it done.
Not gonna lie, feeling a bit of a failure right now. It was the most important thing to finish and I’ve not gotten it done, and it’s only 15 pages. We’re not talking 20+, I should have been able to finish it, but I can’t seem to make myself work on it. I’m completely repelled by the idea of sitting down and typing one more word about the Romantic Era and Postmodern Gothic fictions. I’m exhausted by this topic, a topic I actually enjoy, but I can’t throw in the towel until I get these last 15(ish) pages done.
I’ve written 89 pages so far and I can’t seem to manage 15 more. That’s ludicrous. Those 15 pages are standing between me and finishing this thing, and I know when I’m done I’m going to feel wonderful, but until then, I’m struggling. But Matt works tonight, so maybe I’ll pull a late night and try to finish it, because if I get on that train tomorrow afternoon with this thing hanging over me, I’m going to feel like a complete failure. Not a bit a failure, but a total, complete failure. Which means I’m setting myself up to feel like that because there’s no way it’ll get done, and I can’t lug all my research materials to California, there’s not enough space in my luggage for that by far, so working on it there is possible but not probable.
Okay, I’ve got to go to work. Last day at this job and my feelings are really, really mixed. I think I’ll miss going to work and seeing my co-workers, but I won’t miss teaching. Another topic, no time for that right now. I’m off.
Several months ago the dean of the College of Graduate Studies asked me to write a short statement about my Tarleton experience. I did so, the school photographer took some pictures, and yesterday I received a notification email that the Graduate Studies website had been updated. When I went to check it out, I found this:
I’m not the first entry, but there I am! I was told, initially, that the photographer would email me the pictures he took so I could chose one. I never did get that email, so I guess they chose the ones that appear on the site. I’m just so amazingly flattered to appear on the site that I don’t much care that I didn’t have the chance to chose the pictures. I really do just feel immensely honored!
Here’s what you see when you click through to my testimony:
As usual, please click the images to see them larger–please do, they look better bigger. I really like the second picture better than the first–I look so pale and my arms look huge, by my shoes (which Chewbi has since chewed up) look fantastic and so does that outfit! So, it all balances out. ^.^
If you want to see me on the site, I’m at Tarleton’s Graduate Website. Just click the arrows until you find me.
Quick update: I just clicked around on the graduate website and my picture and short statement also appear around the site randomly. So, when you click many of the pages (only on the graduate site), you have a random chance of seeing me! How amazingly awesome is that?!
I’ve been trying to resist, I swear to you I have, but I can’t resist anymore…
I love this song and I love the video!! And I know, I know, everyone loves Gotye, but I find him strangely alluring. I can’t stop watching this video because I can’t stop looking at him. There’s something about his mouth I really like, he’s just so, I don’t know… alluring! I already said that, huh? Sorry.
I just love the way they move, particularly Kimbre, and their facial expressions when she’s singing her part. He looks so stung by her vocals, and she’s so beautiful, I just love it. I hear that some people are disturbed by this video, but I don’t see it at all. If you’re one of those people, please, explain it to me.
If you like this song, you’ll probably like this version, too…
I love how they all play the guitar together. While I’m still partial to the original, I do so love Gotye, I really dig this group’s vocals. It’s so beautifully done!
